Bottom of the list, bottom of everything.

Not sure if anyone will read this.

I seem to have been forgotten.

Not just in this class, but with everything in life.

Stuff is slowing down but speeding up with great force.

Everything that seemed to matter to me is fading away.

My dreams seem to be further than I thought.

With that, all of the stuff I've dread and avoided is swallowing me whole.

Stress and anger continue to eat away at happiness and peace.

Responsibilities and pain take over freedom and creativity.

I think I'm becoming an adult and I absolutely hate it.

Everything is mediocre.

This school.

This area.

This state.

This county.

 hell, even the world.

But you, you are real, you live a life just as vivid as my own.

The Princess Bride is fake, but I still find myself crying every time I watch it.

Why do I find emotion in nothing?

I find my brain fleeting from every thought I have.

It's jumping everywhere & I can't think straight.

Right now i'm writing this, avoiding the two math assignments, mythology homework, and choreography requirements I have.

I could be a genius right now if it weren't for this system.

 Why is my knowledge represented by a letter grade? 

If I spent my time creating something instead of solving for x, I could've changed the world by now.

But I realize I have no escape now.

 No escape from anything really.

No escape from this "education".

No escape from the pressure of this area.

No escape from having to choose a college.

No escape from sorrow.

No escape.
 Not even from my own thoughts.

It's all too real for me.

Everything is building and compacting on itself, charging toward me at the speed of sound.

It will hit.

 & when it does, I hope I am prepared.

Because right now, I am not.