DAUNTED

Dear future self,

I am afraid that you are not who I hoped you to be.
I am nervous that you haven't gone places.
I am worried that you are still stuck in Utah without a chance of traveling.
I am horrified at the possibility that you've changed, & you're not me.
I am scared at the thought that you've finally given up.
I am terrified that you've grown old. Not in person, but in spirit.
Words cannot come to the amount of fear I have of you.
As of now, I don't know where you are in life.
But if you find yourself here. Run.

I'm still alive

I have strong bones, and functioning joints.
My muscles are working and my nervous system is still sensitive.
I have blood pumping through my veins, organs to keep me healthy, and skin to protect me.
I have eyes to see, ears to hear, nose to smell, mouth to talk, and hands to touch.
My heart is still beating.
Though I wish sometimes it wasn't.
I'm not sad, I love my life.
But I want to know what it's like to be completely at peace.
To have no worries, no pain, or stress.
I want to feel bliss. I want to be happy no matter any circumstance.
The only way to reach this is death.
And I know that.
That doesn't mean I'm going to cut my life any shorter than what the big man sees fit.
But in the meantime until I reach this point.
Right from this high school nightmare, my dreams will come true.
My life will have meaning.
I won't just drift through life at a desk job.
I'm going to climb tall mountains, run on beaches, and help those around me.
I want to be a hero. I want to be free. I want to be alive.

skcirb

Bricks.

Bricks build walls.
They create homes & workplaces.
Bricks break Windows.
They destroy toy cars & brain health.

Bricks.

Of all things I could be.
I find myself relating to a brick.
A dense, cold brick.
Kind of like my soul right?
Nah.
On the outside, maybe.

Bricks.

People look at me like I'm a brick.
Like I'm cold, rough and sharp.
That I'm not easily offended or hurt.
Wrong.

Bricks.

But how false they are.
The outside appearance is just a shell.
& the inside never reveals its secrets.
That's how Brick Human Nature goes I suppose.

love?

WHAT IS IT
Is there possibly a correct definition?
Probably not..

I strongly believe there is nothing that can describe love.

Not saying I would know.

I've never actually been in love. 

With a person at least...

BUT!

IF I HAVE ANY IDEA ABOUT WHAT LOVE IS.

THIS IS PROBABLY IT.

 These mountains.

 I am a mountain noob.

No, I'm not one of those generic hipsters who goes up the canyon for a pic.

But, I have climbed every inch of these things.

The idea of living in nature seems a little too realistic.

Just falling of the face of society into a dense Forrest sounds like a utopia.

Nature is what I know to love.

People are cool, but they suck.

Nostalgic

Things that NEED to come back:

1. Actual MTV
2. Lilo and Stitch t.v. show
3. Intellect
4. Egg Nog
5. Norman Reedus
6. Sharing
7. Affordable gas
8. Radiohead
9. Everlasting childhood
10. Red lipstick
11. Ed, Edd & Eddy
12. Art
13. Late night I hop runs
14. Old fashioned Trix
15. Boys who actually ask on dates
16. Angels 
17. My ambition
18. Adolescence 
19. Insane courage 
20. Sanity
21. A time for myself
22. Letters
23. Yellow cars
24. Intelligence 
25. Nutella
26. Goats for pets
27. Little to no cares
28. Intergalactic space adventures
29. Zebra Population
30. Apple sauce
31. Ribbon candy
32. Dad
33. Jump on it
34. Unity
35. Star gazing
36. Tamagotchis
37. Kid museums 
38. Insanity (good kind)
39. Door bell ditching 
40. Drake & Josh
41. Irridesent clothing
42. New Kid brand
43. Game Cube
44. Little shopping carts
45. Original memes
46. Lollipops 
47. Guns & Roses
48. Openness 
49. ABBA
50. The Walking Dead
51. Scrapes all over my body from being too hardcore
52. Fanny packs
53. Moon shoes
54. Laser tag

Lol find the hidden message*v*